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Non-Clinging: Letting Go of Attachments
The whole of the spiritual
path may be summed up in the term non-clinging, because through non-clinging
love comes, through non-clinging the door to the Unconditioned opens,
our heart and our will purified and prepared to receive the Will of God.
The Buddha taught liberation through non-clinging: not clinging to anything
as me or mine, not grabbing something or pushing something else away.
Most of our human problems and all our difficulties in the spiritual path
result from clinging, from attachment. We take anger as me, as my anger,
rather than simply a feeling that will pass, that I can let go of. We
take the desire for more as my desire, to be acted upon, rather than as
simply a thought or feeling that will pass. We take all our thoughts and
feeling reactions far too seriously, as if we were just thoughts and reactions.
When we cling to a thought, we become that thought.
On the road to freedom, we
must let go of everything as me or mine. One wonderful aspect of the practice
of non-clinging is that partial results accrue to us, even early in our
path. If we learn not to identify with just a few kinds of thoughts or
emotional reactions, we discover a little freedom and lightness, more
joy as we walk through life. Non-clinging serves as its own reward.
Non-attachment should not
be confused with detachment. On the contrary, non-attachment is the antithesis
of detachment. Through non-attachment we free ourselves to love, to be
wholly engaged in life, with family, friends, and profession. In non-attachment
we disengage from the barriers that separate us from others. Detachment,
on the other hand, fortifies the cold walls of separation.
If someone slights me, a whole train
of thoughts and emotions may ensue and persist for hours. If I am awake
enough at its beginning or even in the midst of it, I see how I cling
to the hurt feelings and thoughts. If through that seeing, I am able and
willing to release the grip of my reactions on me and release my grip
on them, then they subside on their own. I am left breathing easier, unburdened
and free to respond or not to the original situation. My energies are
conserved for better uses, such as joy and mindfulness. My will is a little
less caught in the habit of a self-reflexive stance, in creating a false
sense of myself as a person who was hurt by someone’s slight.
Paraphrasing the Buddha, non-clinging
is an invaluable practice at the beginning of the path, in the middle
of the path, and at the end of the path. The price of admission to the
spiritual depths, to the Unconditioned, to the presence of God is to give
up our clinging. The gate to the deep place only allows those to pass
through, whose hearts are purified, at least temporarily. We might catch
a glimpse of the Divine though, if even for a moment we can relinquish
all attachment, all grabbing and all pushing away.
Because approaching the Divine
requires complete non-clinging, life itself serves as a strict, uncompromising
taskmaster and teacher on our path. For example, whenever anger arises
in me and I identify with it, justifying to myself why I should be angry,
I need to notice this situation and let it go. This can be very hard indeed,
but very necessary if I am to free myself of clinging. This is not to
say that I shouldn’t take appropriate action to defend myself. On the
contrary, we need to love and respect ourselves, as well as others. But
to respect ourselves is to let go of clinging to anger, to greed, to fear,
to wanting and to not wanting. This is our situation and our difficulty,
where we must bear the true heavy-lifting of the spiritual practice of
non-clinging, a heavy-lifting which consists of relaxing, relaxing the
ties than enmesh us in mud, relaxing our attitude, releasing our grip
on the lower to reach for the higher.
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