Inner  Frontier
Fourth Way Spiritual Practice

 

Low Self-Esteem

Everyone has limitations. But too many of us take our limitations to heart in self- directed anger, in self-disgust, in revolt against our own nature, and in wanting to have different personal characteristics. The true transformation sought in spiritual practice, however, is not about overcoming ordinary limitations. Rather, it leads to freedom from all limitation. On their own level, our limitations remain, but we can be free nevertheless and not caught by them. When not in that state of freedom, we sometimes fall into self-denigrating attitudes, which burden us with their own unnecessary limitations.

The sources of low self-esteem generally revolve around the questions of what or who is being esteemed and who is doing the esteeming. Low self-esteem's overly negative view of oneself and the self-doubt it engenders are just one side of the coin of egoism. The usual alternative side presents an overly inflated view of oneself, as in arrogance, self-important pride, and misplaced self-assurance. The therapeutic approach to low self-esteem may involve seeing the negative messages we received in childhood and healing their effects. In deeply rooted or severe cases, therapy may be the only way to overcome problems with self-esteem.

But another effective approach, if we can bring ourselves to it, consists of clearly seeing our strengths and weaknesses without taking them as indicative of our true worth, accepting ourselves as we are while finding ways to compensate for our limitations, and always working to improve. Spiritual practice leads to greater awareness both outwardly and inwardly, including what can be a rather stark awareness of our personal shortcomings. At that point, care must be taken to foster an atmosphere of sober acceptance of ourselves, whatever we may find. Putting ourselves down only creates new obstacles to our inner work. Truth we need to see. But we need not embark on self-flagellation, nor dwell on our weaknesses. The spiritual path need not and should not exacerbate low self-esteem. In fact, the deeper our inner work goes, the more we discover something inside ourselves truly worthy of the highest possible esteem. That something turns out to be who we really are, our unique sacred core, equal in value to everyone else, equally a particle of the Divine.

Low self-esteem should not be confused with the spiritual state of emptiness. In the former our ego is front and center, beating up on itself. But in real emptiness, our ego vanishes, or at least recedes into the background. Then self-esteem, or the lack thereof, ceases to be an issue, because our ordinary self and the esteem it has or does not have for itself, make way for our authentic Self, which through emptiness embraces all.

In at least two ways low self-esteem blocks our path. It causes us to be preoccupied with our illusory self and it limits our vision of our true possibilities. For example, how can we pray with heart, if we are thinking only of ourselves or if we doubt our potential for contact with the Divine? Look at your attitudes toward yourself. Does low self-esteem undermine your progress, inwardly in your spiritual work and/or outwardly in your engagement with life?


     

About Inner Frontier                                    Send us email 

Copyright © 2001-2024 Joseph Naft. All rights reserved.