Contact & Well-Wishing

To have any hope of love, we need to be able to see through our inner house of mirrors to the people around us. We need to have some real contact with them, some objective sense of who they are, independent of our projections, filters, and interpretations, independent of our own needs, desires, and fears. In short, we need to come into the world of contact, of direct perception of ourselves and the world around us. This means cutting through, or just bypassing, our inner fog of thoughts and emotions to be in touch with what our senses bring us, bypassing our commentary and criticisms to be with other people, simply and directly.

Yet in this world of sensory contact, egoism still has its sway. For example, intentional acts of kindness may be pure and from the heart, but they might be mixed with ego. We see ourselves in an act of kindness and we are inwardly proud or self-satisfied about it. The ongoing dilemma of egoism is no reason to give up acts of kindness, even if they are claimed by our self-centeredness. If we can see that happening in us, we are on the road to freedom from egoism. Our ego may pat us on the back, but we begin to see through such attempts by the machinery of our personality to put us at the center of the universe, albeit a very small universe.

To come toward living in this world of contact, we begin with contact with ourselves. The sensitive energy enables that contact. We practice contact with our whole body, through sensing our body. This spills over into contact with our emotions, which have a bodily component. From the steady vantage point of being in our body and emotions, we can see our ordinary thoughts, as automatically, associatively arising and passing away. By paying attention to our mind, while grounded in our body, we learn to be cognizant of our thoughts as thoughts, simple phenomena like those reported to us by our other senses. This contact with our mind creates some freedom in front of our thoughts. We start to see we are not our thoughts. That ever-present fog of associative and random thoughts starts to clear. Instead of being lost in thought, we come more into contact with the world around us, the people around us. From that contact, appreciation, friendliness, and kindness can arise naturally.

True contact with another person always has an element of feeling. Whenever we sincerely wish someone well, especially with the whole of ourselves, it purifies our heart, and slowly but surely that cleansing creates a virtuous circle that enables us to be more open, to be more in contact, to be more positive toward other people. The practice of well-wishing sends energy and positive intention. Even these inward acts of kindness have a direct impact, rippling out into our world, just as they purify our heart toward the selfless compassion, brotherhood, and joy they embody.

Some people are naturally friendly and giving. The rest of us can find the joy, freedom, and connection of friendliness and kindness with practice, with being in contact. Each such moment leaves a sweet residue that makes us more likely to respond from the heart at the next instance. This is how love enters the world of contact. We practice contact with ourselves, contact with others, and we open to well-wishing and other acts of kindness that enhance that contact.

For this week, please work at well-wishing toward everyone you meet. Send them a positive feeling and positive wishes. This does not require any particular thoughts, otherwise it might interfere with a conversation. It is a direct act of will, with feeling. This can be extended to people we do not meet in person but connect with by phone or two-way video. And further to people we see in photos or videos, TV or movies. And further to people we read about. And further still, to people we happen to be thinking about. Send genuine good wishes to others, especially to those in your immediate presence. Regardless of what you think of them or who they are, send good wishes. This is contact. This is love in the world of contact. Found in many spiritual paths, this is a simple yet powerful and transformative practice.

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