Inner Work

For the week of May 19, 2008

Recognizing Will

The many modes of will can be grouped into three overarching categories: an active type of will, an open, receptive type, and a harmonizing type. The open receives, the active affirms, and the harmonizing cooperates. We all have all three types. But we each have a unique pattern of will, our “I,” that forms us as individuals. In any and every moment, our will is who we are.

Everything we intentionally do has will at its core. Every choice, every decision, every shift of attention, every attitude and intention is an action of our will. Both choosing and choosing not to choose are acts of will. Paying attention is an act of will. And so is allowing our attention to drift without direction.

Right now, for example, you are willing your eyes to take in these words, and perhaps willing your brain to consider their meaning and the ideas they represent. That will actively directs your attention toward these words. That will can receptively allow your thoughts to flow by association with these words and ideas. And so it goes with everything we intentionally do or intentionally don’t do: we will it.

To perceive will is not so simple, because our will, our “I,” is always the perceiver. To perceive our own will we need an inner act similar to holding up a mirror to see our face. Even then, the mirror is empty since will cannot be seen. Will is even more subtle than the stillness of consciousness. Whereas sensation and consciousness are energies, will is not an energy. Will is the user of energies.

According to the famous saying of J.G. Bennett, we are not beings who do, but rather doings who be. Human doings is a more accurate term for us than human beings. Will is primary. So instead of trying to see our will, we become our will. Hold your attention on some nearby object. Be the one in you directing your attention, the one making the continuing choice to attend to that object moment-to-moment.

We can apply that same method in any situation: we just be the one who is experiencing and doing. We be the seer and the doer. We be our own “I,” our truest self. This “I” is the central feature of true presence. While perceiving will is not simple, being our own will, our own “I,” is simple and direct. Just be yourself, the one doing whatever you are doing.

Besides the subtlety of will, we also encounter the difficulty presented by its fragmentation. Part of us wants something, while another part wants the opposite. An inner battle ensues and the stronger wins, or there’s a compromise, or a stalemate ensues and nothing happens. The spiritual path heals these inner divisions, leading us toward unity of will as we become conscious of and embrace our disparate fragments. Simply being our will, our “I,” draws the pieces together, subsuming our parts into the wholeness of who we are.

Will participates in all we intentionally do and feel, in both our antipathy and our love. This points us toward the issue of levels of will, as does the biblical “Thy will.” Inanimate objects have very limited will, sufficient to maintain their shape and composition, to hold themselves together. Contrast that with the radically greater freedom of will enjoyed by plants, still greater in animals, and greatest among the higher mammals and especially humans.

Within ourselves we have the possibility of functioning with various levels of will. Habits have will behind them to the extent that we are aware of them and allow ourselves to continue engaging in the habits. Self-generated associative thoughts and reactive emotions usually have no intention behind them. But as with habits, our assent to such thoughts and emotions does involve our will. Self-indulgent, self-centered acts arise from the lower levels of will, from egoism. In the spiritual path, we seek not only to unify but also to purify our will, to raise its level beyond ego. Prayer serves as an effective means for that purification, as does letting go of identification and attachment.

Like a fish in water or a human in air, will is always with us, in us. We just do not notice it. For this week, practice recognizing will at work in you. Be your will, your I.

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