Inner  Frontier
Fourth Way Spiritual Practice

 

Inner Work


For the week of December 12, 2005


Speaking Well

A core aspect of conscious speech concerns awareness of our intention behind what we say and, further, to do the right thing in speaking. We contain a whole hierarchy of impulses and intentions, some of which have harmful aspects and find their way into our speech. Negative gossip, for example, attracts us to hear and to spread the latest, juicy tidbits that shed a disapproving or embarrassing light on someone. Everyone has moments of weakness. Negative gossip broadcasts someone’s weak moment, damaging their reputation unnecessarily and perhaps unjustly. This type of gossip also harms us when we engage in it, by involving our will in an unwholesome act and thereby driving our conscience away. Our path is to notice when the opportunity for negative gossip calls to us and to refuse that impulse.

We also tend to succumb to another type of wrong speech in moments of pressure or emotional distress. Lashing out with abusive words usually leads to regret. Our work is to restrain ourselves in the heat of that moment, to temper our words appropriately.

We can sometimes judge speech by its quantity. Often, right speech simply means to chat with someone. Such exchanges bring contact and relationship. But we can err by going on and on about ourselves or some topic that fascinates us, without a real, two-way exchange. Or we can err by not engaging, by not saying enough, by appearing, or actually being, distant.

In some cases we speak to defend or establish our position, to attack, to argue or to debate. Whether such speech injures us by strengthening our egoism or harms another person depends mainly on the intention behind what we say.

Speaking well includes speech based in kindness, friendship, caring, love, gratitude, humor, or just an exchange of information.

In every one of the foregoing cases, intention is the key. To complicate matters, though, our intention in speaking can change from moment to moment with the flow of a conversation. So we need to stay cognizant of our intention.

For this week, notice your intention in what you say and, if necessary, raise it to a higher level.


     

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