Inner Work

For the week of: July 21, 2003

Judging and Criticizing

When others fail to live up to our expectations or cross us in some way, we tend to inwardly judge and outwardly criticize, scold, or insult them. Even if fully justified in our opinions and responses, our lack of compassion nevertheless reinforces the wall separating us from the other person.

Criticism of others may be a habit of our mind. Mental habits of all kinds remain harmless as long as we do not identify with them. But as soon as we claim the critical thoughts as our own, or allow them to claim us, we fall into the world of separation, pushing the other away. Rather than being objectively matter-of-fact in our criticism, we layer on an emotional reaction against the person, as if their faults make them less human.

If instead we simply notice critical, judgmental thoughts as they arise, seeing them as just thoughts, and letting them dissipate, then we find greater opportunity to live in an open acceptance of others as they are and of ourselves as we are.

For this week, notice your critical mind at work and see how it seduces you into emotionally reacting against the other person.

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